Wednesday, December 17, 2014

8 Characters in Movies/TV That Never Should Have Been Created


Many times when screenwriters work on their scripts, they have an idea who the popular characters will be. Sometimes though, a pleasant surprise takes place and a character they wrote will gather a fan base.

Initially Kevin Smith never meant for Jay and Silent Bob to be as popular as they became. In cases such as this, some of these characters could be absurd in nature and utterly ridiculous. I submit to you, the top 10 characters that are popular in movies or TV, but for no real reason, should have become the pop icon that they became...

1. Towelie: Perhaps the most absurd character ever created on TV, Towelie was purposely created my Matt Stone and Trey Parker to be the worst character ever created. In brainstorming for "horrible" ideas, they came up with a talking towel that continually asks people, including the kids of Southpark, "don't forget to bring a towel." No real depth to the character. No real motivation other than getting high. Yet, thanks to a faux commercial in between the commercial breaks, when the episode debuted, Towelie's popularity soared.

Parker and Stone were increasingly aware of how their characters were being merchandised by Comedy Central and intended to design Towelie purposely as a two-dimensional character, both literally and figuratively, to poke fun at this.

Even Towelie was aware of his own lackluster quality. In the end of the episode he debuted, even Cartman said to Towelie, "You're the worst character ever, Towelie." Towelie then responded, "I know."

2. R2-D2: The popular droid from Star Wars is essentially a robot that rolls on three wheels and beeps, boops, and whistles. No communication skills that the audience can really understand, beyond the screaming sound in an action scene, R2-D2 provides no real depth as a character. Essentially he is a white trashcan that exists because he is possibly the only character that could deal with C-3PO.


3. Poochie: A character of a show within a show, Poochie was a skateboarding riding dog seen on The Simpsons. His character was sort of a comment on how marketing departments of television and film, create characters not for entertainment value, but for monetary value. His character was added to the Itchy & Scratchy show because the producers thought the cartoon was getting stale. Unfortunately for Homer Simpson, Poochie was killed off.

4. Aubrey Flemming-Dakota Moss: From the horribly rated movie I Know Who Killed Me, Lindsey Lohan played both twins, that have no idea that each other exists. After the "good one" (Aubrey) is abducted and tortured, the "bad one" (Dakota), ends up setting aside her stripping career (and apparently her emotions) to avenge the abduction and what might be the death of her identical twin that she had no idea existed. In the end Dakota saves Aubrey from a death of being buried alive.

5. The Great Gazoo: A little green alien from The Flintstones, that is banished from his home planet of Zetox, he is sent back into time and to Earth, but only Fred, Barney, the kids, and animals can see him. Despite being smart enough to apparently invent the first device that can destroy the universe, he seems to get Fred into trouble constantly, when he tries to help out his stone-age friend. He constantly refers to his prehistoric friends as "dum-dums". Despite his wishes to return home, he never does...because "The Flintstones" was cancelled before his story-arc was ever wrapped up.

6. Dawson Leery: Other than the obvious whiny attitude he has, the Dawson's Creek star is constantly in what I call a "Betty and Veronica" syndrome. He constantly bounces back and forth in relationships between Joey Potter, the brunette, and Jen Lindley, the blonde. Despite having two girls that would at times appear to cut off their right arm to be with him, he swims through his teenage and early adult years, stuck in what can only be the physical embodiment of a Smiths song...emo and always contemplating whether the grass is greener on the other side. Even when he's not bouncing back and forth between the two girls, he manages to snag and sleep with his best bud's older sister (Gretchen Witter), find another blonde girl who is willing to get down and dirty (Eve), and in his adult years he finds another girl who is an aspiring actress that is even willing to role play with him. Yet he is never happy. Plus we all know it really should be called "Joey's Creek" since everyone seems to end up wanting to hook up with her.

7. Seven: The newest member of the Bundy clan in Married With Children, during season seven, he was the son of Zemus and Ida Mae Wanker, Peggy's cousins. After being ditched by his parents, he is semi-adopted by the Bundy family for seven episodes, before mysteriously disappearing from the show, without any explanation. Fans of the show hated the character and some guessed that he only appeared as an answer to Peg Bundy's mysterious pregnancy that also never happened (actress Katey Sagal was pregnant in real life and it was written into the show, but she after an emergency cesarean, delivered a still-born daughter).

8. Disco Stu: The one-dimensional of The Simpsons, who serves little purpose on the show than to be annoying. The only depth to his personal storyline is that he is one of Selma Bouvier's many husbands.

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