Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Star Trek Reboot Killed Picard, Seven of Nine, and the House of Mogh

Promotional photo for Star Trek by Paramount Pictures

People often wonder what life would be like if events in the past played out differently instead of the way they did. A change in past events can easily end up worsening a situation just as easy as it can improve the present day.

This happened in the Star Trek universe when it was rebooted after Nero traveled back in time for his revenge on Spock. While the movie was enjoyable, everything in the Star Trek universe was changed. Not just what you saw in the trilogy of reboot movies released to date, but it also changed the universe in other ways you may not have noticed.

For starters, the changing of the universe surely affected the future captain-ship of the USS Enterprises. This means that Jean-Luc Picard may or may not be the future captain of Enterprise D. It's even possible that he not only may not become the captain, he may also decide to enter the field of archeology after making the choice to follow in his favorite professor's footsteps. If the leadership of not only the Enterprise, but also the Federation is shifted around in the past, who knows what the future may hold for other Enterprises.

Another change in the universe is that now with present day events in the original series changed, there's a good chance that the famous kiss between Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Uhara may never happen. With Uhara and Spock being romantically involved, the storyline from a romantic standpoint has forever changed.

A third change in the universe affects Star Trek: Voyager. With the planet Vulcan now obliterated, future Vulcans such as Tuvok will surely never be born. If his ancestors died in the near extinction of the Vulcan species when Nero blew up the planet Vulcan, Tuvok cannot exist in the future universe. Even if his ancestors are one of the survivors that the elder Spock led, the tragedy would surely change the storyline completely.


In the category of diplomatic relations, if the TNG has changed because of prior events, what will become of the House of Mogh? Not only would Worf's history be changed, but his grandfather, Colonel Worf, who was the legal advocate for Kirk and McCoy in Star Trek VI: Undiscovered County, may have never come to defend them after they were accused of murdering Chancellor Gorkon. With the universe changed, Gorkon may never meet Kirk and McCoy, Colonel Worf's history may take a different direction, and eventually his grandson may never find himself in the Federation, working for Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

Lastly, if the storyline to the original universe is changed, it can be assumed that first contact with the Borg may change. With Picard possibly not leading the Enterprise D, he could never be assimilated and become Locutus. The movie Star Trek: First Contact is completely out the window. Also, Seven of Nine may never become a member of Voyager, if she is ever even assimilated in the first place.

The new reboot of the Star Trek movies have been wonderful so far, led by good acting and intriguing storylines that lead to more debates. It unfortunately leaves the future of the universe up in the air, possibly destroying it as we all know it. On their own, the reboot holds up, but if it changes the future of the greatest captain (Jean-Luc Picard), then was the change worth it?

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Talking Turkey: The Truth About Ben Franklin and the National Seal


Coming closer to the big turkey day, a common misconception is that the turkey could have been our national bird instead of the bald eagle. Some people believe that Benjamin Franklin himself argued to make the turkey our national bird. This is simply not true.

After the Declaration of Independence, Benjamin Franklin was one of several people tasked with coming up for an idea for the seal of the United States of America. A few ideas floated around, just not the idea of using a turkey.

It is true that Franklin talked about a turkey, but this was in a letter that he wrote to his daughter, Sarah. He praised the turkey, calling it "a much more respectable bird" and "a true original native of America." In contrast, he called the bald eagle "a bird of bad moral character" and "too lazy to fish for himself" because it tends to steal fish from hawks.

The revelation of the existence of this letter later hit newspapers a century later, long after Franklin and his daughter had passed. Franklin's disdain for the bald eagle being on the seal was never publicly revealed until then, as was his respect for the turkey.

Over the years, just as the subject can change when people play the "telephone game," the story of Franklin and the turkey developed into the false notion that he wanted gobblers to be the national bird.

He did not.

The turkey was never considered to be the national bird, thus never putting the status of a turkey in jeopardy from not being the main course for a Thanksgiving dinner.

Turkey and avocado sandwiches...safe.

Those large drumsticks that you enjoy at county fairs...safe.

Your ability to stay awake after a big Thanksgiving dinner...well, that's still in jeopardy because of the tryptophan.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

What I've Learned from Saturday Night Live

Promotional image from NBC's Saturday Night Live

Debuting on October 11, 1975, Saturday Night Live has been a fixture on Saturday night television for 42 seasons and over 800 episodes. It has been guest hosted by a variety of celebrities, from Tom Hanks to George Carlin to even politicians such as Bob Dole. Speaking of politicians, SNL has spawned out a mass amount of stars to go on to bigger and better things including Senator Al Franken.

A show that has been on for so long is bond to accidentally teach a lesson or two to the audience. Believing to have watched all 42 seasons, I will now share with you XXXX lessons I have learned from my years of enjoying the comedy skit show.

1. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." - Often the lessen given to the audience and the guest of the Stuart Smalley skits performed by now Senator Al Franken, the message was both positive and hilarious at the same time. Smalley would impart his message with those who even didn't necessarily need it (i.e. see Michael Jordan). The character of Smalley is obviously a flawed one (fictionally), but he always tried to see the best side of life anyway by trying his hardest to stay positive.

2. "Consume Mass Quantities!" - Perhaps the worst aliens in disguise as humans, the Remulak natives known as the Coneheads (Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtain, and Laraine Newman) found themselves stranded on Earth. Trying to blend in, they lived life to fullest. That included drinking a whole six-pack of beer at once and smoking a pack of cigarettes simultaneously. Unfamiliar with their alien biology, I'm sure that this is probably something that doesn't bug them. The family mislead others by claiming they were French, but unlike any European, the Coneheads ability to consume "consumables" was more American than anything else.

3. "Devon? What are you doing here?" - The Californians mock the accent of those who live in the Los Angeles area, but one of the reoccurring themes is that the unexpected is likely to happen. You have to be prepared and not caught off guard like Stuart (not Smalley) is when he see Devon. (Stuart-Fred Armisen; Devon-Bill Hader)

4. "Sorry." - A sincere apology is always appreciated, but when Gilly (Kristen Wiig) gradually ramps up the violence and still gives the same apology, one could surmise that the apology is fake. Some people will do things to get under your skin, but when they say sorry and continue to do it, they don't mean it. Gilly is an extreme example, but there are people out there that will intentionally mess you and try to come off as apologetic the whole time.

5. "I am filled with anticipation, and it is most delicious." - Sometimes the anticipation of an event is more enjoyable than the event itself. Dieter (Michael Myers) from the "Sprockets" skit teaches us that, usually just before dancing to techno music by Kraftwerk. And he's right. Sometimes an event such as a holiday doesn't live up to the build-up of the day itself. That's why it's sometimes better to enjoy the build up to the event than the event itself.

6. "...living in a van down by the river." - Motivational speaker Matt Foley (Chris Farley) is a down-on-his-luck man who famously points out that he lives in a most unfavorable place to reside. Often tasked to scare kids straight, Foley has driven his point home by (accidentally) crashing down on a table while the kids laugh while breaking character. But it does prove that while you might be down, you can help others from meeting a similar fate and still be a positive influence in someone else's life.

7. "We're not worthy!" - Wayne and Garth (Michael Myers and Dana Carvey) praise those that they idolize such as Madonna with the phrase, "We're not worthy!" Now this is not to say that you have to gush over someone in an embarrassing way, but just letting them know that you are appreciative of the work someone has done isn't a bad thing. People, including artists, often doubt whether what they do has a positive impact on other's lives. Finding out that others are appreciative of what you do can not only make their day, but also give them motivation to keep doing what they do.

8. Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey - While there is not a single quote by the Deep Thoughts skits that stand out more than others, it does reveal that you're not the only one with odd and sometimes disturbing thoughts. While you may have grown up thinking you're awkward, others grew up thinking the same thing.

9. "When I see a solar eclipse, like the one I went to last year in Hawaii, I think 'Oh no! Is the moon eating the sun?' I don't know. Because I'm a caveman -- that's the way I think." - Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, Cirroc (Phil Hartman) said things like this while in the courtroom. It reminds us that there are people out there that haven't been able to enjoy the wonders of everyday life that many others have. Don't take life for granted. While you may have witnessed a natural wonder many times, others may have not. Soak up your experiences and don't be afraid to share them with others if you have the chance.

10. "Lambortini" - The Former Porn Star Commercials remind people to always aim higher. I'm not kidding. Even though the former porn stars (Cecily Strong and Vanessa Bayer) aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, they aspire to be something more than just porn stars. In this case, they want to be spokespeople for various brands such as Lamborghini and Swarvoski. They just have trouble pronouncing the brand names. Even with that said, they want to better themselves and that is commendable.

11. "Toonces, no!" - Cats can't be trusted to drive a car. Enough said.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

How Captain Jean-Luc Picard Influenced Me

Screencap taken from an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation

There are not too many characters on television that can go multiple seasons and remain a true hero type the entire run. I'm not necessarily talking about super powers when I say hero. Just someone that can remain a role model for every episode during a show's run. Often a protagonist-type of character will have at least some sort of slip up if their television series runs long enough (unless you're in a sitcom).

One character that remained the positive role model type for 178 episodes.

His name was Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

Out of all the main cast members from Star Trek: The Next Generation, Picard was the only one that remained a positive character for every episode. Data turned evil when his brother Lore and the Borg teamed up; Riker fell under the influence of Q for an episode; and even La Forge got in a war of words with Wesley when it came to Crusher's dating life.

You could say that Picard may have been swayed towards the dark side when he became Locutus of the Borg. I would argue that with the nanobots that transformed Picard into a member of the Borg, he was temporarily no longer himself, but a whole separate person.

Now to get to the point of this post. I give you the things that I have learned from Jean-Luc Picard.

1. Earl Grey Tea - I have had tea many times in my life, but it wasn't until Picard would order the replicator to make him Earl Grey tea that I even knew there were other flavors. I only thought tea came in one flavor. Because of Picard, I found out that tea could have a hint of citrus. As I grew older, I found that I actually preferred tea to most non-alcoholic drinks. Not just hot tea, but iced tea as well. This revelation came because of Captain Picard's obsessive ordering of the same flavor of tea.

2. Pulp Fiction - I have always been the bookworm type. It wasn't until Captain Picard entered the holodeck and assumed the role of the private detective known as Dixon Hill before I knew what mid-twentieth century pulp fiction was. It was because of the Dixon Hill character that Picard loved that I became interested in the cheesy but interesting storylines. This eventually led to my love of movies such as LA Confidential. In some way it may have been one of the factors to my current career as both a writer and online investigator.

3. Whiskey - Maybe this isn't a positive aspect I learned from Picard, but his choice of alcohol is Aldebaran whiskey. Obviously I can't try an alien brand of whiskey, but it led me to try whiskey first out of all the hard liquors. Now, out of all the hard liquors out there, I found that I enjoy a nice whiskey the most. The moment Picard shared a shot of whiskey with Scotty from the original series was an awesome moment for me. It connected my favorite character from the original series to one of my favorite characters from the newer series.

4. Never Back Down - In fairness, I've learned this from many different avenues of influence in my life. Picard was just one of those who cemented this thinking into my personality. Even when confronted with malevolent characters with god-like powers such as Q and Ardra, Picard never flinches. From episode one of the Next Generation series, Picard matches wits with characters of undeniable powers and in every case, he defeats them through will and occasionally with his smarts. He even put the Enterprise on the line in a court case against Ardra who claimed to be also known as the devil on Earth. Confident in his abilities in a courtroom setting, Picard held his own.

5. Dealing with Lose - In this, I don't mean dealing with the death of someone close to you. I mean dealing with the fact that no matter what, you will lose at some point in your life. In the episode called "Peak Performance", Picard tells Data, "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." He was right.

6. Be Yourself - Picard realized that one of the biggest headaches in life is when you try to be someone you're not. It causes problems and could lead to disaster in your social life. From the first episode of the series, Picard said, "If we’re going to be damned, let’s be damned for what we really are.”

6. Silence is Golden - Picard was not written to be the Captain Kirk-type of character. Initially he wasn't the type of captain that would sleep with every alien woman he encountered. He was quiet and did not brag about those he slept with or at least had relationships with. By the time the television series wrapped up and the movies were done being made, Picard had been in the most relationships out of any of the crew members of Enterprise D. I'm not kidding.

Picard started in the academy, pining for a woman with the initials A.F. His feelings for her were strong enough that he carved their initials in groundskeeper's Boothby's prized tree and then failed Organic Chemistry because he couldn't take his mind off her.

He then had a relationship with Jenice Manheim, but chose his career over love. He then moved on to Vash when he vacationed on Risa. The two not only had a physical attraction, but a common love in archeology. Any hope of this relationship was quashed when she ran off with Q.

Picard had a run-in with an empathic metamorph named Kamala (played by Famke Janssen). The two bonded so well that it left a lasting impression on Picard.

Another woman, Nella Daren, took over the Enterprise's Stellar Sciences department. The red-head (a common theme for Picard) became so inseparable from Picard that the rest of the crew noticed. Troi gave her blessing while Dr. Crusher became jealous. Eventually, Picard was forced to make a decision to save lives, putting Daren's life on the line. She survived, but the two knew they couldn't continue to work together.

And then there was Anij, a 300-year-old woman that Picard fell for while saving her people from the Ba'ku. Before leaving, he pledged that he would spend his 318 days of shore leave to visit her.

And then there are those that Picard never hooked up with--or at least not on camera. He had a relationship with Guinan that was said to go beyond friendship. Maybe they hooked up a few times, but decided to be friends. Then there was Lwaxana Troi. She would openly say that she liked the naughty thoughts that he had about her. Even when butting heads with the false god, Arda, she made it known that she wanted Picard to be her own personal love toy and even was willing to morph into the shape of others including Deanna Troi to get him hot.

Finally, there is Dr. Beverly Crusher. Picard has a thing for red-heads and she fits the bill. Despite commanding the mission that led to the death of her husband, Crusher had feelings for Picard for the entire series. In several "future" based stories, it was shown that the two would eventually marry.

Ultimately Picard had the best love life on the Enterprise without bragging about it or using the holodeck to fulfill his fantasies (i.e. Barclay).

Final Point... While many still view Captain James T. Kirk as the ideal star ship captain, it was Picard that held all the necessary traits to be a legend. Kirk was just born before Picard and therefore his legend grew. If he had to live up to the expectation levels of Picard, Kirk may have only been considered above average.

Friday, October 28, 2016

108 Things That Have Happened Since the Cubs Won the World Series


With the Chicago Cubs battling it out with the Cleveland Indians for the title of World Series champion this year, one of Major League Baseball's longest droughts will come to an end.

The Cleveland Indians are currently in the middle of the longest drought in the American League having last won in 1948. The Cubs aren't much better. Their last appearance was in 1945, but their last World Series victory was in 1908.

In those 108 years, a lot has happened. Events that changed world history; people that were born or died; and changes in popular culture. So here's a list of 108 events that happened in the 108 years since the Cubs last won a World Series.

1. World War I
2. World War II
3. The creation of the state of Israel
4. Ronald Reagan was born (and died)
5. The Mexican Revolution
6. Lenin's October Revolution
7. The United States adds Arizona, New Mexico, Alaska, and Hawaii to the union
8. Major League Baseball expanded from 16 teams to 30 (Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, Miami Marlins, Tampa Bay Rays, Montreal Expos/Washington Nationals, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres, Seattle Pilots/Milwaukee Brewers, Houston Astros, ANAHEIM Angels, Washington Senators/Texas Rangers, New York Mets, Kansas City Royals, Toronto Blue Jays) and 7 teams moved/changed their mascot (Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers, New York/San Francisco Giants, Boston/Atlanta Braves, Philadelphia/Kansas City/Oakland Athletics, St. Louis Browns/Baltimore Orioles, Washington Senators/Minnesota Twins, New York Highlanders/Yankees)
9. The Great Depression
10. The Social Security Act
11. The atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
12. India and Pakistan become independent countries
13. I Love Lucy airs for the first time
14. Lucille Ball was born (and died)
15. Television is invented
16. Disneyland opens for business
17. Rock'n'Roll is invented
18. Jean Harlow was born (and died)
19. Scientology was formed
20. The NFL formed
21. 19 different American presidents are elected
22. 9 popes take the helm of Catholicism
23. Mount Rushmore is finished
24. The city of Las Vegas, Nevada incorporates
25.  Berlin Wall is constructed (and falls)
26. Medicare and Medicaid created
27. President Lyndon Johnson signs the Voting Rights Act into law
28. The fall of the Ottoman Empire
29. Iraq was created
30. The Titanic sinks
31. Motorized movie cameras replaced hand-cranked cameras
32. The crossword puzzle is invented
33. Life Savers candy is created
34. The modern zipper is invented
35. Bras are invented
36. Charles Jung invents fortune cookies
37. Band Aids are invented
38. Pluto was discovered
39. Velcro is invented
40. The Holocaust
41. Prussia falls
42. Bubble gum is invented
43. The game, Monopoly, is invented
44. Credit cards are invented
45. Yugoslavia forms and falls
46. The Hindenburg disaster
47. The NBA formed
48. Pablo Picasso died
49. Nikola Tesla died
50. Martin Luther King Jr. was born (and assassinated)
51. The hula hoop is invented
52. Superman is created
53. The first handheld calculator invented
54. Wyatt Earp died
55. Women's Suffrage
56. Prohibition
57. The Star Spangled Banner is adopted as the national anthem of the United States
58. The Empire State Building was built
59. The Dust Bowl
60. Mark Twain died
61. The Cold War
62. Bettie Page is born (and died)
63. Mother's Day is nationally recognized
64. The NHL is formed
65. Frank Sinatra is born (and died)
66. The Bloody Mary cocktail is created
67. The Black Sox scandal
68. The first black baseball player plays in the MLB (Jackie Robinson)
69. McDonalds opens up their first restaurant
70. The KKK ran the city of Anaheim, California
71. Thomas Edison died
72. The minimum wage was created in the United States
73. Leo Tolstoy died
74. Sigmund Freud died
75. The first home versions of refrigerators were sold
76. Ranch dressing was created
77. Desegregation of schools
78. Franz Ferdinand was assassinated
79. Snickers candy bars was created
80. Wizard of Oz was released in the theaters
81. Instant coffee was invented
82. D-Day
83. The Roswell incident
84. The rise of AIDS
85. Babe Ruth's whole career
86. The Grand Canyon is declared a National Park
87. Bugs Bunny and the other Warner Brothers cartoons were created
88. Mickey Rooney was born (and died)
89. Amelia Earhart disappeared
90. The CIA was founded
91. HG Wells died
92. The Charleston and Jitterbug dances were created
93. Teddy Roosevelt ran for president under the Bull Moose Party ticket
94. The modern hula-hoop was invented
95. The vaccine to Polio discovered
96. Marie Curie died
97. Japanese attack Pearl Harbor
98. Modern scuba diving invented
99. Al Capone is held at Alcatraz
100. Bonnie and Clyde's crime spree
101. The discovery of King Tut's tomb
102. The Spanish flu killed millions
103. The first talking movie
104. The first radio station goes live
105. The Dust Bowl
106. Penicillin is discovered
107. French fries are introduced to America via soldiers returning home from World War I
108. Christ the Redeemer statue erected in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

And as a bonus...Ford introduced the Model T to the world while the Cubs were playing the last World Series they won.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Patriots Show Disrespect to Bills


Looks like the New England Patriots are at it again. In their last game against rival Buffalo Bills the Patriots ran right through the middle of the Bills' pregame warmups. Is there a specific rule against this? No. It's a matter of respect...or disrespect in this case.

Every year the Patriots find themselves embroiled in a new controversy. Deflategate being one of the most recent ones which led to Tom Brady being suspended for the first four games of this season.

Another being that multiple visiting teams have complained their headsets don't work when they visit Gillette Stadium. It isn't until a referee checks that they magically begin to work again. If a team's headset doesn't work, the other team is supposed to go without their headsets as well to even up the odds. Opposing coaches have complained that they hear the radio broadcast of the game instead of their coordinators.

Somehow, despite constantly pulling things that would dirty the image of any other team, the Patriots seem to be able to shed the dirt and remain a favorite of millions of fans. How? Maybe it's because they win. It would be hard for the NFL to come down on a team that brings them millions of dollars in revenue. Plus Patriots owner Robert Craft and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell are known to be good friends.

Now this...

For whatever reason, the Patriots ran right through the Bills pregame warmups, disrespecting their rival in the process. But why? There was no reason other than the Patriots decided to be punks. It's doubtful that the whole team had an airheaded moment at once and accidentally did this.

These two teams will face each other again this season. The Bills have already publicly said that if the Patriots do this again, retaliation will be a guarantee. And who could blame them? If the Patriots do it again, they deserve to get their butts kicked.

Will it happen again? Who knows.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

The 5 Scariest Mainstream Clowns

Screencap from Poltergeist

Coulrophobia...the fear of clowns.

With all the creepy clowns hitting the news these days people are genuinely scared of those who were meant to entertain people originally. Clowns were entertainers that were supposed to cheer up children. Parents would hire clowns to entertain their children at birthday parties. Other clowns such as Bozo would be a daily staple for children in the 1950s.

Now, all has changed. People have genuine phobias about those who don the red nose and colorful clothing. That's why the following list is not the typical happy-go-lucky list of clowns that make you happy.

You won't see DC Comics' Joker on here. While being a very mainstream character these days and having the nickname "The Clown Prince" to live up to, the Joker is thought to be the victim of unforeseen circumstances. Team that up with the "super-sanity" and his crime boss tendencies, the Joker is more mobster than clown.

These are the top 5 scariest clowns in the American mainstream.

1. Pennywise - This should be a give in. Google scary clown and images of Pennywise from Stephen King's It popup everywhere. Every thirty years this shape-shifter comes back to terrorize children. More of a supernatural character than a physical one, Pennywise lived in a realm called deadlights when not scaring and killing people.

2. Pogo - Who is Pogo you ask? Perhaps you know him by his real name...John Wayne Gacy. The serial murder's day job was entertaining children at parties and hospitals. At night he murdered an estimated thirty people at the very least. Nicknamed the Killer Clown after his reign of terror began, Gacy was eventually arrested and put to death by lethal injection in 1994.

3. Poltergeist Clown - This children's toy come to life was one of the scariest aspects of the Poltergeist movie. This toy with an evil smile should have never been allowed to be in the house by the parents. It wouldn't be long before this toy assaulted the child...no shock there. Just the scene of him crawling under the kid's bed was enough to give people nightmares.

4. Twisty - This clown was once the focus of the carnival show that became the focus of the fourth season of American Horror Story. After being accused of pedophilia, Twisty tried to end all by shooting himself in the head with a shotgun. He ended up failing at this, mangling his face by shooting off his jaw. Since then, he remained outside of the circus, kidnapping children and trying to entertain them. Don't worry...he hid the fact that he was missing his jaw by wearing a mask.

5. Ronald McDonald - Perhaps the biggest killer of all the mainstream clowns, Ronald has slowly killed many off by utilizing calories, sugar, and fat in almost all of his fast food. He rebranded his death packages as Happy Meals and millions of Americans would become addicted almost overnight. For those who weren't 100 percent sold on buying one of his death traps...a toy to sway a few more to eat his food while playing with their plastic choking hazards.